Part-Time Bonding
by GottaGoBuyCheese
Summary: Mob's busy with important third-year stuff, so when Reigen needs help with an exorcism one frosty winter day, it falls to Ritsu to play the role of assistant.


_Wear something you don't mind getting messy in_ , the text had said.

 _Well_ , thought Ritsu, cheeks flushed in a way that had nothing to do with the frosty December winds nipping at his face, _if it stops at just "messy," I'm setting them on fire myself_. His brother meant well; he knew that. Just like he knew that if he met anyone even remotely acquainted with him while dressed like this, he would combust on the spot.

Ritsu shivered, rubbing his mittened hands — _who the hell even_ sells _sock puppet mittens?_ — together. If he were being honest, though, the mittens were the least mortifying part of the whole ensemble. Beneath an eye-bleedingly orange scarf was a truly revolting watermelon-themed turtleneck, hidden from the light of day by a puffy jacket covered in cartoon rodents of some sort. Even his socks couldn't be spared from creepy-looking strawberries crawling up their sides. The only salvageable parts were the pants, which, save for a patch of bright yellow fabric on the left knee, were an unremarkable gray, and an out-of-order rainbow beanie.

A gust of cold wind stung his face. Grumbling, Ritsu pulled the scarf over his nose, nuzzling into the soft fabric. His brother's fashion sense may have been corrupted beyond repair, but at least the clothes were warm. Shifting from foot to foot, Ritsu checked his watch. _5:07_. He growled deep in his throat; he'd been waiting outside this ice cream parlor over _fifteen minutes_. If he had to spend even one more mortifying minute in public like this, he would —

"Ah, there you are!" As if summoned by his mutinous thoughts, his brother's employer came jogging into view. "Sorry about that, the last client took longer than expect . . . erm, what happened to your clothes?"

"They're not mine," muttered Ritsu, shrinking further into the borrowed clothes. "They're my brother's." Reigen raised an eyebrow. "He said my clothes weren't warm enough, so me made me take the clothes he got when he and Teru went to the mall last month."

"Ah," said Reigen, as though that explained everything. Which it did. Hanazawa Teruki was a walking fashion disaster, and the more people realized it the better. If only his brother were one such person.

"Well, it's not like you can talk!" Ritsu snapped, the flush of his ears hidden by the beanie. "What's with those earmuffs anyway?"

"What, these?" Reigen touched the hot pink balls of fluff covering his ears. "A gift from a client. I couldn't think of a polite way to decline, so I figured I'd give them an honorable death in the line of duty. Besides, they're warm."

Ritsu grunted. "So what are we here for, anyway? You said an exorcism?"

"That's right." Reigen dug around his pocket and pulled out a tattered slip of paper. A sudden burst of frigid air nearly yanked it from his grip, but he held on tight. "Apparently one of their machines started malfunctioning last Friday. When they tried to fix it, it started spewing hot chocolate everywhere, and no one's been able to go near it since."

Ritsu waited. Reigen didn't offer anything else. "That's it?" he said, after several long moments. "We're here to fight a broken hot chocolate machine? Why did I have to come, then? You don't need me or my brother for that sort of crap."

" _Language_ , Ritsu."

"What? All I said was —"

"It might be a _cruddy_ job, but we can't speak about our clients' problems that way. It's unprofessional."

"Whatever."

"Also, they don't sell hot chocolate."

"What do you mean they don't —? Oh." Well, that would certainly explain why they thought it was haunted. But still, what sort of ice cream parlor didn't sell hot beverages in this weather? At the very least, it seemed like a wasted business opportunity, especially when one considered how prolific dessert cafés were now.

Reigen led the way to the back entrance, where the owner was waiting. After introducing themselves, the owner keyed in the code to the door. The locked beeped and turned green, and Reigen made his way inside. Ritsu followed close behind. "Just — just let me know when you're done, yeah?" said the owner. She gave them one last nervous smile before shutting the door.

Inside the building was somehow even colder. Ritsu shivered as he watched his breath cloud in front of him, a stark white against the dark backdrop of the unlit corridor. Ahead of him, Reigen fumbled around a bit, searching for the light switch. "So, Ritsu," he said, feeling the wall next to them, "how's school going?"

"Fine, I guess." As they made their way to the main service area, the two split off in separate directions, Ritsu towards the pastry displays and Reigen toward the service counter.

Reigen searched the wall behind the counter. "Mob was telling me you had a math test today; how'd that go?"

"All right."

A loud clang echoed through the store. Reigen hissed, rubbing his elbow where he'd hit it against a soda machine by the sink. "Just 'all right'?" he said through clenched teeth.

Ritsu shrugged. "I mean, I got full marks if that's what you're asking, but that's not news or anything."

"Hey now, full marks is nothing to sneeze at — aha!" With a triumphant grin, Reigen flicked a switch next to the sink. Bright fluorescent ceiling rods bathed the room in an artificial light before sputtering out and drenching them in darkness again. "What the —?" muttered Reigen, flicking the switch off and on and off again.

"Nice, you broke it," scoffed Ritsu, making his way over.

Reigen's eyes flicked nervously to Ritsu's and back to the switch. "That — that couldn't have been me, though, right? The lights were probably busted anyway. And frankly, I think it's _better_ that we know now so we can tell the owner before she opens for business again. Yeah, now that I think about it, this is actually a good thing." Impatiently, he pressed the switch again. "If they only just broke, shouldn't the lights at least flicker?"

Just as Ritsu opened his mouth to offer to help, the machine next to them sputtered to life, emitting a strange blue glow. A quiet bubbling sound came from within it, getting drastically louder with each passing moment. "Should we . . . do something?" asked Ritsu, leaning away from the now rattling machine.

"Ah." Reigen looked at the machine, then his elbow, then back at the machine. "It seems we've awakened the spirit."

" _We_? I'm not the one walking around this shop _breaking things_ like a blind ox."

"All right, that's fair, _I_ awakened the spirit, but the point remains —" Whatever else Reigen had been about to say was interrupted by an explosion of turquoise light and scalding hot chocolate. Ritsu yelped, barely managing to dodge a jet of hot liquid aimed in his direction. Reigen wasn't quite as fortunate; he moved his arm fast enough to protect most of his face, but his earmuffs got hit square on.

Ritsu's eyes widened in concern. Above the din, he shouted, "Are you okay?"

"Just fine!" Reigen yelled back. He scrubbed furiously at his face, wincing. "Wow, that's hot. Ritsu, think you can take care of this one?"

A silent sigh of relief escaped his lips unbidden; getting hurt on an assignment like this, and on Ritsu's watch no less, would have been so avoidably _stupid_. Ritsu rolled his neck, grinning wickedly. "With pleasure."

From the soda machine rose a whirling cloud of purple and red energy. Two enraged, iridescent glowered at them from its center, and a thunderous voice bellowed, " _WHO DARES_ —"

Ritsu snapped his fingers.

* * *

"I'm so sorry for the trouble I've caused you, but thank you again for all you help!" The owner bowed hastily before digging through her purse. Pulling out a checkbook and a pen, she said, "You said it was your standard fare?"

Reigen sighed, scratching his head with one hand while the other clutched his now ruined earmuffs. "Well, normally yes," he said, "but because it's the holiday season, we actually have a special discount going on now, so all consultations, exorcisms, and counseling sessions are thirty percent off." He smiled, then, and offered her a gloved hand. "I'm glad my disciple and I could be of help."

"I'm not your disciple," Ritsu muttered. His comment went unheard.

The owner shook his hand enthusiastically. "No, no, thank you!" She pressed something into his hand, saying, "I know it isn't much, but I hope you'll accept these as a token of my appreciation. Consider it a holiday gift, if you will." Stepping back, she bowed again and headed off towards her parked car.

Ritsu peered over Reigen's arm. In his hand were two coupons for the ice cream parlor they had just freed. "I guess it's a chain," Ritsu commented. "Wait a minute . . ." He frowned, eyebrows pinched. "These expire today."

Reigen huffed a laugh, throwing his arm around Ritsu's shoulder. "Well then, Ritsu my boy," he said, smiling, "what do you say to dessert for dinner?"

He felt his eyes widen in amazement, but he couldn't help it. "Really?" He was _never_ allowed to have sweets before dinner.

Grinning, Reigen ruffled his hair and began walking them toward the main road. "Really. It's on me."

* * *

 _A/N: This was written as part of a Secret Santa event for MP100. Fun fact, I watched a 22-slide powerpoint about the interior design of ice cream parlors just to justify writing one of these sentence sentences (bonus points if you can identify which one!). Anyways, this is my first time handling these characters, so let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!_


End file.
